


A Piece of the Action

by queenitsy



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Bets, F/M, Hijinks, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-12
Updated: 2011-06-15
Packaged: 2017-10-21 07:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/222380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenitsy/pseuds/queenitsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"It's not my fault I'm this attractive," James sulked. "I can't help that everyone wants to make out with me."<br/>Logan grinned. Maybe even smirked. "Would you care to make a little wager on that?"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enormous thanks to [](http://elucreh.livejournal.com/profile)[**elucreh**](http://elucreh.livejournal.com/) for the inspiration, [](http://poisonivory.livejournal.com/profile)[**poisonivory**](http://poisonivory.livejournal.com/) for the hijinks, and especially [](http://lielabell.livejournal.com/profile)[**lielabell**](http://lielabell.livejournal.com/) for hand-holding and beta reading. ♥

**Wednesday.**

"Okay. Let's apply logic. You like logic," Carlos said.

"This should be good." Logan leaned back on the couch, tapped his pen against his textbook, and waited. Not that he was going to wait very long. He didn't just have homework to finish: the ACTs were creeping up. Logan wasn't going to risk not getting into his first-choice college if this whole boyband thing fell through. He had some serious studying to do.

"What are you two talking about?" James looked away from his mirror for a second, before he went back to coming his hair. Logan rolled his eyes.

"It's like this," Carlos said. "You should do my homework for me, because if you _don't,_ then I'll fail. And we won't be able to perform or whatever. Gustavo will just make you do it later anyway, so you might as well do it now."

"You have to admit he has a point," James said, sitting down on the couch next to Logan.

"Where's Kendall?" Logan asked instead of answering. Because the sad thing was that Carlos actually did have a point, and Logan needed back up.

James shrugged, kicking his feet up on the coffee table -- also, in fact, on top of Logan's notebook. Logan scowled and glared at him, but James just grinned back.

Carlos filled in, "He's out with Jo. They're busy planning," he made finger quotes, "'the best date ever.' It's their nine-month anniversary or something."

"The prefix 'anni-' implies _year,_ you can't say that for a _month_ \--" Logan started.

"This is why we always want you to do our homework," Carlos said.

Logan growled a little and tried to shoo James off of his work. James let his feet fall back to the floor as he pulled his mirror back out. "I made out with Bethany this afternoon," he said.

"Good for you. Now go tell Carlos about it somewhere else, please."

"I'm not going anywhere until you agree to help me."

"I would happily help you," Logan said. "But I'm not going to do it _for_ you."

"And I made out with Jackie yesterday," James continued. "They got into a fight about it, and Jackie shoved Bethany into the pool. Then Bethany pulled her in and they had a dripping wet girlfight over me. It was amazing."

"Yes, yes, that's very nice for you," Logan said, most of the muscles of his body clenched in irritation. "Now would you please go away? I'm trying to work here."

James looked up from his mirror. "And last week --"

"James!" Logan snapped. "I don't want to hear about it!"

James pouted, his stupidly attractive lower lip sticking out, brown eyes earnest. He looked genuinely wounded, which was ridiculous. Logan sighed, and apparently James took that as a cue, because he continued, "Last week, Marissa got that new bikini, did you see it? It's like... the size of a bandanna. And I don't know if it was on purpose or not, but she didn't exactly tie it very well, and when we were in the pool, the knot --"

"I don't want to hear it," Logan interrupted, massaging his temples. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for James, or didn't want James to get some with every single girl at the Palm Woods or whatever, he just... didn't want to hear about it. As fun as it was for James, it was a little gross when he described it, and it seemed like his romantic conquests were all James ever talked about lately.

Though apparently Logan was the only one who thought so. Carlos was obviously impressed. "Did it come all the way off, or --"

"Just untied," James said. "But she let me take it off in the towel closet later. It was pretty amazing. She's only a B-cup, but --"

 _"That is enough!"_ Logan yelled.

James looked up, his expression actually genuinely surprised. "What's wrong, Logan?"

"I am trying to work here! You," he jabbed a finger against James' extremely solid chest, "and you," he turned to waggle the finger at Carlos, "are really annoying and distracting! I'm not doing your homework for you, and I really," he turned back to James, "really don't want to hear about your _escapades."_

"It's not my fault I'm this attractive," James sulked. "I can't help that everyone wants to make out with me."

"Not everyone wants to make out with you," Logan muttered wryly. It was true that James was pretty attractive, but his ego was out of control if he really believed that.

Which, apparently, he did. "Um, yes they do," James said. "Seriously, I don't think there's a single person at the Palm Woods who wouldn't make out with me."

Logan started to answer, then stopped, an inkling of an idea occurring to him. A way to shut James up, and not just for today. He tapped his hand against his knee and said, "Is that a fact?"

"That everyone wants to make out with me? Duh."

"No, that you're sure there's no one at the Palm Woods who _doesn't_ want to make out with you," Logan corrected. A small difference, but an important one.

"Fact," James said simply.

Logan grinned. Maybe even smirked. "Would you care to make a little wager on that?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah," Logan said, nodding. "Yeah, let's do this, if you're so sure. I am willing bet you that I can think of someone who lives at the Palm Woods who will never, ever, under any circumstances, make out with you."

"Whoa," Carlos said. "Them's fighting words. Awesome. James?"

"So what, you pick someone, we make out, I win?" James said.

"Or I pick someone, you _don't_ make out, and _I_ win," Logan agreed.

"How long does he have?" Carlos put in. "I mean, like, does he only get one try? Or a day? Or what?"

Logan looked at James, who shrugged. "Two days?" Logan suggested.

"I won't need that long," James answered confidently. "But sure. Two days. That gives me until..." He looked at the clock. "Four-thirty, Friday. So what do I get when I win?"

 _"If_ you win," Logan corrected. "Which you won't."

"Which I _will._ Wait!" James grinned. "I've got it. When I win --"

 _"If."_

"-- _you_ have to be my wingman. Forever. Or at least until I get my driver's license," James said. "Because I need someone to drive me places."

Logan groaned. He had finally gotten his license, which was great, except he couldn't afford gas for the BTR-mobile on his own. He mostly drove around his friends and they all split the cost... but they wanted to go out a lot more than he did, and he was already a little bit tired of playing chauffer for Kendall's and Jo's dates. The idea of doing the same for James and his girl-of-the-week... He shuddered. A fate worse than death. And he'd _never_ get any studying done.

On the other hand, he was pretty sure he was going to win the bet. James was handsome, true, but he was also stupid, and obviously not thinking this through very well. Logan smiled.

"Fine. You win, and I'm your wingman forever," he agreed. "But if I win," he paused for dramatic emphasis, "you can never, ever tell me about your escapades again. No stories about making out, or groping girls in the closet, or -- or whatever else you do. Not to me and not where I can hear you. Ever again."

James furrowed his eyebrows, seeming deep in thought. Logan wondered what he was considering, since it wasn't like it was a huge deal. He wouldn't be able to talk about what he got up to, but it wasn't like Logan was forcing him to not make out with a succession of random girls or whatever. He just didn't want to hear about it.

Finally, James said, "Deal."

"Shake on it," Carlos instructed.

Logan held out his hand. James shook it. His grip was firm and warm, and his smile was excited.

"So who's the lucky lady?" James asked.

Logan chuckled, relaxing on the couch. "Who said anything about lady? I just said I'd pick someone at the Palm Woods. I never said a _girl."_

James let out a little yelp, eyes going wide. He turned to Carlos, obviously looking for someone impartial to referee, but Carlos was laughing so hard that he fell off the couch. Finally he managed, between guffaws, "Oh man, he totally got you! You said anyone, he said anyone..." He trailed off, grinning.

"Fine," James said, but he sounded a little panicked. "So who...?"

Logan smirked. "Well, let me see... there's always Buddha Bob... or Mr. Bitters --"

James let out another yelp.

"Or..." Logan snapped his fingers, thinking aloud. "I don't know. What about Mrs. Knight? She's a girl, but Kendall would beat the crap out of..."

An idea struck him like lightning and he laughed.

James and Carlos both stared at him. Finally, Carlos demanded, "What? Who?"

Logan grinned. "Kendall."

It was perfect. It wasn't just that Kendall was the straightest guy Logan knew, it was that he had an insane loyalty complex. Even if he did have an occasional passing thought about guys -- which he didn't, Logan was sure -- he would never, ever cheat on Jo. And even if he _did_ consider cheating on Jo, and it _was_ going to be with a guy, James was his best friend, and friends just didn't think of other friends that way.

Yup. Perfect.

He could tell James knew it, too. James' mouth dropped open and he froze in place, sitting on the couch, just staring at Logan. Carlos, meanwhile, was now laughing so hard he was curled up into a ball, shaking, and in serious danger of concussing himself on the edge of the coffee table.

Eventually James said, "Okay. I can... I can work with that." But his voice cracked, so Logan knew it was a desperate lie. James stood up and added, "I've got to go prepare myself. Just you wait, Logan. Just. You. Wait."

Then he ran away, and Logan cackled. Carlos finally managed to crawl back up onto the couch, grinning ear to ear. "The next two days are going to be amazing," he said. "So about my homework...?"

"No."

"But --"

"Carlos, I _just_ got James out of my hair. I have a very short window to get actual work done. I mean this in the nicest way possible: go away."

"I'll go away if you do my homework for me."

"No!"

"Fine." Carlos stood up. "I'm going to go make popcorn. Because watching Kendall and James is going to be better than a movie."

That was true. Logan thought about asking him to share, but he'd only share in exchange for Logan doing his homework. Logan didn't even have to ask to know that.

"So what do you think is going to happen?" Carlos called as he put the popcorn in the microwave.

"Uh, duh, I made a bet on it," Logan called back.

"Yeah, but you really think... I mean, it's James," Carlos said.

"Yeah," Logan said. "And it's Kendall."

"Yeah, but... I mean, you've seen James work. He always gets the girl."

"Kendall's not a girl."

"But James has the face."

"But Kendall is Kendall."

"But James is James," Carlos said. "Check and mate, my friend."

"Do you even know what game you get checkmate in?"

"Checkers, duh," Carlos said.

Logan nodded. Naturally. But if Carlos was ridiculous enough to think that, and ridiculous enough to think James had even a snowball's chance in heck of winning... Hmmm.

"Carlos, how would _you_ feel about making a bet?"

"On James?" Carlos practically ran over and vaulted the back of the couch, landing next to Logan. "What are we betting?"

"If I win, you have to do your own homework. Every night. I'll _help,"_ Logan added quickly, "if you need it, but you sit down and you open your book and you actually _do_ it. Okay?"

"Every night?" Carlos made a face. He usually did homework at most once a week, which was why his grades were so very, very bad. "Okay, fine. And if I win -- I mean, if James wins -- you do it for me For the rest of the year."

"But then you won't learn anything!"

Carlos shrugged. "You want to bet or not? It was your idea."

"Fine." Because there was absolutely no way he was going to lose. Kendall was straight, James was an idiot, and Carlos was a sucker. He shook Carlos' hand, and Carlos got up to get his popcorn, leaving Logan to finally, _finally_ get to work.

For about five seconds. Then the door blew open and Kendall announced, "It's official. Perfect dates are cost prohibitive!" He stormed over and threw himself down on the couch dramatically.

Logan sighed and reached for his notebook. On the one hand, he thought he should ask Kendall about it -- that was the sort of thing friends did -- but on the other, he really wanted to get some work done. He scribbled a note on his study guide, then looked over at Kendall expectantly.

"Almost all of my money goes to the college fund," Kendall complained loudly. "I spent my allowance on gas and _last_ week's date, so I've got nothing, and all of Jo's money goes into her trust fund, which she can't touch until she's twenty-five!"

"That's rough," Logan said, trying to sound more sincere than he felt. All of _all_ of their money from the band went into sealed college funds, which was basically fine by him, since he didn't spend much, and had no problem saving for the things he wanted. (He had his eye on a top-of-the-line graphing calculator, and was carefully putting aside money and pretending he wasn't so none of his friends would try to borrow it.)

"It's not fair! We've been together for longer than any other couple at the Palm Woods, but we can't even go anywhere nicer than Fun Burger."

"You could try saving up for the next three months," Logan suggested. "Then it would _actually_ be your anniversary."

Kendall didn't look pleased by the suggestion. Logan shrugged and went back to his notes while Carlos sat down with a bowl of popcorn, which Kendall immediately helped himself to. Logan tried to block them out, but before he could focus on his work, James strutted into the room and said, "Hey, Kendall's home! Look at that. Hello, Kendall."

Logan looked up. The first thing he saw was that James had used his few minutes to change, and was now wearing what he called his Model Costume: a clingy v-neck with short sleeves that showed off his arms, a black vest, and jeans that were _just_ tight enough. Not skinny, but fitted to show off his... well, his everything. And then there was James' face, which just wasn't fair. He was gorgeous without foundation or lipgloss or whatever it was he'd put on, but now...

James had a very intent gaze focused on Kendall. Except James didn't gaze. He smoldered.

Logan panicked. There was handsome, and then there was _this._

But Kendall just gave James a weird look and said, "Um, hey, James. What's... what's up?"

"Can you do me a favor?" James asked. "I think I've got something in my eye. Can you come see if you can see what it is?"

Logan swallowed. This was one of James' tricks, he just knew it. If Kendall looked into James' eyes, he was a goner. Logan wanted to do something -- maybe yell, "It's a trap!" or tackle Kendall to the carpet or something -- but he felt frozen to the spot, as if James' magic spell was working on him instead of Kendall.

Kendall glanced at Logan and Carlos, shrugged, and stood up. He walked over to James, who was still smoldering at him. He leaned forward, squinting, peering into James' eyes.

Then said, "I don't see anything."

"Are you sure?" James asked, voice low and husky. "Look harder."

Kendall's expression was dubious, but he dutifully peered into James' eyes for another few seconds. Then said, "Nope, sorry. But if it's bothering you, you should call the doctor." He stepped around James, heading towards the hall, and added, "I've got to go search restaurant listings. Somewhere out there is a perfect blend of classy and cheap."

He left.

James deflated.

Carlos laughed.

And Logan smirked. Oh yeah. Momentary panic aside, this was the greatest idea he'd ever had.

\--

James stared at himself in his mirror and said, "You can do this. You are James Diamond. You are The Face. You can _do_ this."

His reflection nodded -- okay, so he nodded, but so did his reflection. He could do this. It wouldn't be easy, but...

He sighed and sat on his bed, still examining his face. It was flawless. Why hadn't it worked on Kendall?

He scowled at his reflection. Because his heart wasn't in it. That was why.

When Logan had dropped the bomb that he was going to pick a boy for James, James' heart had leapt. He'd thought, for just one hopeful moment, that Logan was masterminding something else entirely -- that Logan would name himself, that James would finally have an excuse to crawl on top of him and pin him down and kiss him and --

Whoa. No point in following that train of thought all the way through, at least not when Logan had given James exactly zero signs that he was interested. James had been watching for those signs very carefully. He'd spent months dropping hints, flat-out _telling_ Logan how great a kisser he was, how much fun he was on dates, how much absolutely everyone wanted him, and he'd been waiting and waiting for Logan to get curious enough to give him a chance.

Nothing for months, and now _this._

It was weird. The idea of kissing Kendall for a bet didn't phase James at all. James would make it happen, and he and Kendall would laugh it off later. But the idea of kissing Logan...

Just the thought of it left him a little desperate. But he had to ignore that. He had to concentrate. He had to _win,_ because aside from proving to Logan that he was, in fact, so handsome and amazing that everyone with good sense (something Logan usually possessed) would want him, he would get unlimited time with Logan. Which meant that eventually Logan would fall for him. It was only a matter of time. So yeah, he had to win this bet.

"You can do this," he said to his reflection again, as he got up and headed towards his closet. "Just think sexy."

\--

"Heyyyy... baby sister?"

"Talk to me," Katie said from her perch at the kitchen counter.

Kendall plopped down on the stool next to her and said, "You know I would normally never ask you for this kind of favor."

"How much?"

Logan started laughing from the living room couch, where he was still studying from some enormous textbook. Kendall grabbed a grape out of his mom's fruit bowl and chucked it at him, soliciting a yelp of, "Hey! Doing homework, over here!" Kendall turned back to Katie, but had to look over again when the door opened and Logan said, "Wait, you're helping him?"

Carlos was walking into 2J, dragging some kind of fancy lighting equipment that looked like he'd stolen it from Marcos Delposey. "Uh, yeah."

"You can't do that!"

"We never said anything about it one way or the other," Carlos said, lugging the equipment towards their bedrooms. He yelled, "Hey, James, did you want the dusty rose gel or the desert rose gel?"

"I don't even want to know," Kendall said, shaking his head. He turned back to Katie. "Just a hundred bucks. For a fancy date. We're going to dress up nicely, go somewhere that doesn't offer crayons on the table..." He clasped his hands together, begging. "Please?"

"For you, big brother? Of course." She smiled. "And I'll even drop my interest rate down to five percent a week."

"Say whaaa?"

"I'm happy to loan you the money, but I've got to make some profit, right? And a hundred is such a nice round number, even you can do the math."

He turned to Logan, who was watching over his shoulder. "It's five bucks a week for every week you don't pay her back," Logan explained.

"But it could take me a couple months to save that much up! That's why I'm asking in the first place!"

Katie shrugged and started to answer him, but an explosion from down the hall rocked the whole apartment. Black smoke roiled from the general area of their bedrooms, bringing the scent of burning body glitter with it.

Wow, Kendall had been living with James for _way too long,_ considering he recognized the smell.

"I've got the extinguisher! Don't panic!" Carlos screamed from somewhere out of sight, as the fire alarm went off.

"You think I should check on that?" Kendall asked.

"I wouldn't," Logan said.

Kendall used his hand to fan some of the smoke away from his face and said, "Any chance of a loan with no interest? Because you love me?"

"Sorry, big brother."

"Oh, well. Worth a shot." Kendall sighed. Back to square one. He hopped off the stool to go meet Jo so they could discuss their options.

\--

Three hours later, he and Jo had taken a very nice walk in the park, played Frisbee, went for smoothies, and spent the whole time trying to brainstorm cheap alternatives to fancy dates. Unfortunately, while there was plenty of stuff to do in LA, it was mostly really expensive. Or at least moderately expensive, which was still more than they could afford.

He sighed wistfully and waved as he walked past Carlos, Logan, and Katie, who were watching _Varsity Vampire_ on cable together on the couch. (Or at least, Carlos and Katie were watching; Logan was reading something in his textbook and chewing on his highlighter's cap.)

"Any luck?" Carlos asked.

"No. I'm gonna sleep on it. Maybe it'll come to me in a dream," Kendall answered.

"'Night," Logan said distractedly, highlighting something in his book.

Kendall pushed the door of his and Logan's room open, already reaching for his t-shirt's hem to pull it off, and froze in his tracks.

James was lying on his bed.

Not lying. _Lounging._

He was also wearing a long, shiny robe, which was hanging open to reveal he'd oiled up his chest. A fan was blowing, gently rustling James' hair, and James had a rose clenched between his teeth.

A _rose._

Kendall turned around, walked out, and shut the door behind him. "Guys, why is James doing a Fabio photoshoot in my bed?"

Logan just threw his head back and laughed.

\--

James scowled as he slid his robe back onto its hanger. He opened the closet to put it away, but had to shift all of Carlos' hockey gear out of the way --

Hockey gear. It was like a light bulb turned on over his head.

If Kendall was going to be attracted to a guy, it wasn't going to be the Fabio fantasy, romance novel thing. That had been the totally wrong tack to take. No, no, no. There was a much more direct route to Kendall Knight's heart. Or libido. Whichever.

\--

Bedtime, take two. Kendall had decided it was safest to just watch the movie with Katie, but now that it had hit the ending strains of _Hoop Screams_ (Dak Zevon's final number), he figured he'd given James plenty of time to finish up... well, whatever it was James had been doing.

So he got up, brushed his teeth, and walked to his bedroom. He opened the door and --

James was lounging on his bed, wearing a hockey jersey and skates, licking -- _licking_ \-- the curved end of a hockey stick. He said, "Hello... Kendall," and waggled his eyebrows lasciviously.

Kendall blinked at him, then announced, "Okay, I'll sleep on the couch."

 **Thursday.**

Weekday breakfasts in 2J were frenetic, crazy affairs. Katie's mom was notoriously _not_ a morning person, which meant that she barely rolled out of bed in time to get everyone _else_ out of bed on time. Even when she had great intentions of providing a complete breakfast -- fresh fruit, bacon, eggs, pancakes, the works -- everyone usually ended up with a couple of bowls of cereal and maybe some orange juice, and there was also always plenty of yelling about who needed access to the bathroom when and for how long, and everyone frantically getting dressed and trying to find their shoes and whatever, and basically by the time everyone was ready to roll out to school or the studio, the day was off to an exhausting start.

Usually.

Thursday, when Katie got out of bed (a good hour before her mom -- it wasn't that Katie was a morning person, it was that she liked to shower and she didn't feel like fighting with four idiots to get into the bathroom) James was already awake. She raised her eyebrows. He was dressed to the nines, humming brightly, and making breakfast on the stove.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing," James sing-songed. He paused to rustle her hair, then went back to cooking.

"James, you don't..." She gestured at the kitchen counter, which was covered in batter-caked bowls, eggshells, and flour. "And did you already do your beauty regimen? How early did you get up?"

"Four," he said. "Gotta get a good jump on the day. Breakfast is the most important meal."

She blinked at him. "You're being weird, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. After I shower."

"You are a very suspicious little girl, Katie," James said, as she pushed past him towards the bathroom.

Suspicious? Katie glanced back at him. Yes, she was a little suspicious. Because James Diamond seemed to have been replaced by a pod person who knew how to cook. Something was definitely going on.

\--

Kendall yawned as he sank into place at the kitchen counter. His eyes were still glued shut, and he could hear Carlos singing in the shower from where he sat. He groaned, crossed his arms on the counter, and lowered his head to rest on them, shutting out the world for a moment of quiet darkness.

Someone set a plate down on the counter next to him. It smelled delicious. He pried his eyes open, turned his head, and --

"Morning, sleepyhead!"

Kendall jolted up so quickly he almost fell off his stool and had to flail for balance. Because whatever he'd expected, it wasn't for James to be _right there,_ almost nose to nose with him, batting his eyelashes.

James straightened up and said, "I made you breakfast." He nudged a plate further towards Kendall. It was stacked high with pancakes and bacon. "The pancakes are chocolate chip. Your favorite!"

"Did you do something bad?" Kendall asked, peering at the pancakes suspiciously. "Seriously, did you break my favorite hockey stick or something?"

"I wouldn't do that!" James yelped, then cleared his throat and said, "No, no. I just... felt like being... nice. To you." He waggled his eyebrows. He was doing that a lot lately, Kendall noticed vaguely. Then James reached for a canister of whipped cream and offered, "Want any? Here." He sprayed a dot of it onto his finger and held it out towards Kendall.

Kendall slid off of his stool, wheeled around, and pounded on the bathroom door, yelling, "Carlos! I still need to shower!"

Behind him, James muttered, "Darn it!"

\--

Katie crossed her arms and stared at the idiots. They had class this morning, and even though there were technically different grades at the Palm Woods school, there was only the one classroom. So even though she was in a different class, she could see and hear everything they did clearly.

She narrowed her eyes at James, who was watching the clock more than the teacher, then turned her gaze to Kendall (who was passing notes back and forth with Jo), Carlos (who was staring out the window longingly), and Logan (who was actually paying attention, of course).

At the front of the room, Miss Collins announced, "We're going to talk about political geography today. The UN has 193 member states, and I know a lot of you kids are international travelers, from filming on location or going on tour. Let's see how many we can name."

"Does it have to be only countries we've been to?" Logan asked. "Or just countries we can name?"

Miss Collins sighed. "Any country you can name, Logan. Go for it."

Logan began ticking off countries, while Miss Collins scrambled to keep up with him, writing on the board. He had them all memorized by the date they were admitted to the UN -- of course he did. Katie herself was no slouch in the genius department, but she liked to think she used her smarts a little more practically and less... geekily, honestly.

"Wait, wait, wait," James interrupted as Logan hit Djibouti. "You want to know how I learned everything I know about geography?"

"Oh, this should be great," Logan muttered to himself.

"See, everything I know, I learned from a romantic little song I like to call..." James slid out from behind his desk, and Katie facepalmed preemptively as Carlos hit play on a stereo, _"Worldwide."_

Then it was too late to stop him. James went all-out, belting the entire song -- something about Paris, London, Tokyo, which meant it was at least vaguely topical, impressive given how incredibly not bright James was -- while dancing. He was energetic, if not very well choreographed, effortlessly jumping up onto Kendall's desk, as if it were his own personal stage.

In fact, James was pretty clearly doing the whole number directly to Kendall. His gaze was fixed, the dance was centered around him, and sure enough, as James finished, he slid down the aisle between desks, coming to a stop on one knee right next to Kendall, and he took Kendall's hand.

Kendall stared at him with rising horror on his face. After a second, he snatched his hand back and turned to Jo, open-mouthed. Jo's eyebrows were somewhere in the vicinity of her hairline, and she was staring at James, too.

James hadn't moved an inch, Katie noted. He was just looking up at Kendall. Hopefully? Desperately? Something like that. Katie couldn't quite make it out from where she was sitting.

The room remained so silent and still that Katie could practically hear crickets chirping. Then, mercifully, Logan began to laugh. It started as a quiet chuckle, something he obviously tried to stifle, but grew into a huge belly laugh that had him shaking in his chair, and moments later, everyone else joined him.

"James!" Miss Collins tried, but she could barely be heard over the class.

"What was _that?"_ Kendall demanded, only audible over the crowd because the pitch his voice hit was really impressive.

"Just trying to make your day a little brighter, _jeez,"_ James said, standing. He brushed some dust off his jeans, shrugged, and sat back down at his seat. Weirdly, where anyone else in the entire world would probably just have run out of the room, ready to kill themselves from embarrassment, James just looked mildly grumpy.

It took Miss Collins a few minutes to get the class back on track. Katie spent most of that time stealing looks at the idiots, trying to figure out what was going on. On the surface it was pretty clear -- James was suddenly, horrifically crushing on Kendall -- but it was Logan's reaction that baffled her. Every time James acted like a weirdo, Logan found it hilarious.

Which, sure, it kind of was. But Logan was one of the most easily-embarrassed people she knew. So much so that he should have been embarrassed for James, not having the time of his life watching James.

Thankfully, James stayed quiet for the rest of class. Miss Collins let them all go for their various jobs noon, and as everyone filed out, Katie grabbed Logan's ear, dragged him over towards James, grabbed James' ear, and dragged them both off to a corner of the lobby.

"What's the scam?" she demanded.

They exchanged panicked looks. "I have no idea what you're talking about," James said, while Logan laughed awkwardly and gestured crazily. They were not exactly good at this whole faking innocent thing.

"Really? So I'm just supposed to believe that after being best friends for fifteen years, you've fallen madly in love with Kendall out of the blue?"

"What? No, ew!" James yelped, then, "I mean, yes. Yes, I have."

She raised a single eyebrow and turned to Logan. Logan was always the weak link in their group, lying-wise. "Logan," she said, drawing the name out and crossing her arms. He started squirming immediately. "Do you think that I'm stupid?"

"No!" Logan squeaked. "No, no, you're actually frightening intelligent for a pre-teen."

"I'm frighteningly intelligent for anyone. Which is why I know that you're lying. So spill."

It came tumbling out of his mouth immediately: "I kind of maybe sort of bet James that he's not as handsome and seductive as he thinks he is and now he has to prove he is by trying to seduce Kendall before tomorrow afternoon and he is totally going to lose, _ha!"_

The last was directly at James, who scowled. "I am totally going to _win!_ I am just warming up. Just you wait, Logan. Just you wait for me to get going."

"Seriously?" Katie looked back and forth between the two of them, but they were now busy taunting each other, complete with not-so-friendly shoves. She put her fingers to her lips and whistled, the way Kendall had taught her to when she was five, and they both turned back to her. She repeated, "Neither one of you realized I'd want a piece of the action, here? I want in."

"Huh?" James asked.

Katie ignored him, the money-making gears in her mind already whirling. "Thanks for the info. I have to go plan."

She left them both behind, giving her weird looks. Not that she cared if they were confused, since she had way more important things to contemplate.

Oh, yeah. Katie was gonna make a bundle off this.

\--

On the one hand, Logan was getting more and more confident as each hour crept by. Kendall seemed horrified, but otherwise unmoved, by James' attempts at seduction.

On the other hand, Logan figured that if Kendall were going to break, it would happen at Rocque Records, where they were all locked together in very tight quarters for hours at a time.

They gathered around the piano with lyrics sheets, going through a new song for the first time. It was a ballad, which meant, of course, it was also a love song. A love song about falling for your best friend -- the person who'd always been there. James caught Logan's gaze and smirked as they finished up the first read through. There was no way he could have planned this, but it definitely set a tone.

Especially when they moved into the studio to lay down vocals. Logan tried to squeeze between Kendall and James, but James wasn't having any of it, and shouldered him out of the way easily. Which wasn't fair, since James had almost six inches on him, and significantly broader shoulders.

And it really, really wasn't fair when James not-so-casually leaned into Kendall's personal space to get to the microphone. That left him singing the song's intro softly in Kendall's ear. Then --

Then --

Logan's brain shorted out a little bit. James finished his part and tongue darted out and he _licked Kendall's earlobe._ Logan's heart was thumping somewhere in the vicinity of his throat and he had a horrible mental image of Kendall turning around, pushing James up against the wall, and --

Kendall shrieked and flailed and pushed as far away from James as he could. Which wasn't far, given how tiny the booth was, but Kendall also grabbed Carlos shoved him into position between James and himself, human-shield style. Then demanded, _"What the hell was that?"_

"What was what?" James asked innocently.

"DOGS! WHAT IS GOING ON UP THERE! HEEL!"

"You are being weird," Kendall hissed at James. "Stop it."

"I'm not doing anything," James sulked.

Logan let out a relieved breath. Thank god.

Not that the one defeat stopped James. Kendall made sure to keep as far away from James as he could in the sound booth, but once they were in the dance studio, where they stood was entirely up to Mr. X, who had no patience for Kendall's squeamishness. And the thing about new choreography was, it was _difficult._ Logan had a hard time learning the steps well enough that he didn't have to look at his feet, let alone adding in everything else. And sure, it came way more naturally to James and Kendall, so while there was always a fair amount of collisions and tripping over one another, it wasn't usually from those two.

Except today it was.

Not two, not three, but four times, they somehow went sprawling, landing in a tangle of limbs. The first couple of times, Kendall laughed it off awkwardly. The third time, he rolled off of James as quickly as humanly possible, looking a little panicked.

The fourth time, Kendall landed with his back to the floor and James' bulk over him, pinning him in place. They were chest to chest, practically nose to nose, and Logan had another nightmare image -- all Kendall had to do was tip his chin up slightly towards James and oh god, who _wouldn't,_ with James _right there?_ \-- but Kendall somehow got a hand on James' shoulder and shoved him off.

"I can't work like this!" Kendall squawked, retreating once again.

"Diva," Carlos accused him.

Logan, who finally remembered how to breathe, reached over and smacked the back of Carlos' head. James sulked, Kendall hid, and Mr. X declared, "That was ex-criment! Starting places! I ex-pect better this time!"

After that, Logan didn't have much time to concentrate on what James got up to. He was too busy trying not to trip over his own feet, and only managed to scowl in annoyance when James crashed into him, giving him an apologetic smile before getting back to work.

\--

Logan was exhausted and achy by the time they returned to the Palm Woods, the late afternoon sun beating down. Kendall said something about checking job listings and took off as soon as they stepped out of the car, and James yelled, "Wait, I'll help!" and ran after him.

"You are so going down," Logan said to Carlos.

"That's what the odds say, but personally, I'm not convinced."

They both spun to find Camille -- wearing a 70s disco dress and enormous platform shoes, for some reason -- standing behind them.

"What are you talking about?" Logan asked.

Camille led them into the lobby and pointed at Katie, who was sitting at one of the tables, laptop and cash box in front of her, deep in conversation with one of the kids from their Palm Woods classes.

"What's she doing?" Carlos asked.

"Laying the odds and taking percentages. Duh," Camille said. "When word got around about the whole bet situation, no one could resist. She's taking ten percent of every bet placed and finding people on both sides to bet against each other -- apparently not a lot of people think James has a snowball's chance. Last I knew, it was 60/40 against him."

"Take _that,"_ Logan said. "And Katie can't even have known about all of his abject failures at the studio."

"Oooh, no, but I'll go tell her," Camille said, and started off.

"Camille!" Carlos called.

She turned around to face them again. "What?"

"Who did _you_ bet on?"

"Why... why do you ask?"

Carlos raised his eyebrows.

Finally, Camille confessed, "Well, just from personal experience... I mean... sometimes it's really hard _not_ to kiss James. Gotta go, bye!"

She ran away. Logan scowled, and Carlos taunted, "Take _that."_

\--

Kendall sat down on the pool chair, pulled his sunglasses on, tucked his arms behind his head, and finally, _finally_ relaxed. It had been a weird, long day. His job search hadn't turned up anything, so the perfect date issue was on hold; and since Jo was still at the studio, he decided to just chill.

And he did. For nearly fifteen minutes.

Then he heard an enormous ruckus from the pool, and looked up. James was in the water, flailing wildly, shrieking for help. Except he was in the shallow end and could easily stand on the bottom, so he wasn't drowning, or even in vague danger of drowning.

Kendall watched over the top of his glasses as James hauled himself out of the pool, sputtering and flopping, coughing. _Fake_ coughing. He somehow staggered to the foot of Kendall's chair, and yelled, "Mouth to mouth! Kendall, I need mouth to mouth. Help me!"

"You don't need mouth to mouth, James."

"Yes, I do!"

"No, you don't. You're breathing fine. You're talking."

"I -- but -- help me!"

"Also, I don't know mouth to mouth."

"But... But... Kendall!"

Kendall sighed and called to the pool area at large, "Does anyone here know mouth to mouth?"

There was a lot of shuffling and mumbling, and Kendall wondered how the Palm Woods got away with operating a pool with no life guard whatsoever, but finally someone said, "I do."

It was the unmistakable rumble of Buddha Bob's voice. Kendall smirked down at James as he announced, "James really, _really_ needs your help."

Then as Buddha Bob came over, Kendall retreated, but paused in the doorway to look back. James was now flailing, running, as Buddha Bob chased him. Then Kendall headed up to 2J, hurried to the room he and Logan shared, and locked the door. He'd let Logan in later, but for now, he just needed a break.

\--

James paced. This was stressful, and stress caused wrinkles and made hair fall out and all kinds of nasty things. It was not supposed to be happening like this!

"Dude, calm down, you're freaking me out," Carlos said.

"I can't calm down!" James yelped. Then he lowered his voice, because Kendall and Logan were just down the hall in their room, and he didn't exactly want to be overheard. "I can't lose this bet, Carlos. I _can't."_

"What's the big deal?" Carlos asked. "I mean, I don't want to do my homework every night, but this isn't exactly life and death or anything."

"It is for me!"

"Why?" Carlos asked.

"Because if I lose, I can't -- you know -- make out all the time!"

"Yes you can," Carlos said. "The bet's that you can't talk about it, not that you can't do it."

"What's the point of doing it if I can't tell anyone?"

"You can still tell everyone but Logan."

"Well, yeah, but I -- I can't -- arg!" He threw himself down on the couch. He knew Carlos was right. Ultimately, honestly, the bet was not a big deal at all. Even if he lost the chance to make Logan spend infinite time with him as his wingman, that wasn't a huge deal, since they spent most of their time together anyway.

He just... he wanted Logan to have no choice but to admit that everyone wanted him. _Everyone._ Because "everyone" would have to include Logan, wouldn't it? Logan would have to give him a chance, then, and all he needed was a chance.

"Sleep on it," Carlos suggested. "You've still got until 4:30 tomorrow. No need to panic yet. Right?"

"Right," James said. He still had plenty of time. And plenty of ideas. Kendall couldn't hide from him forever, and no one was immune to The Face. He could do this.

He _had_ to.

 **Friday Morning.**

When Kendall had been awake for more than twenty minutes on Friday without anything particularly traumatic happening, he started to relax a little bit. James was still giving him weird looks, but had barely said, "Good morning," to him, let alone tried to molest him or anything. Breakfast went as well as it ever did, and Kendall even managed to get into the shower before Carlos and Logan, so there was still some hot water left. Maybe today would be normal.

Well, normal for a day at the Palm Woods.

School was fine, too. They actually got all the way to noon without any musical interludes. Kelly called to let them know Gustavo wouldn't need them for awhile, so Kendall met up with Jo for a picnic lunch.

"This is nice," he said.

"I agree." She smiled. "Just you, and me, and..." She was clearly going to say something about the food or the nice day, but at that exact second, James plopped down between them on the blanket. "...and James," she finished.

"Of course," Kendall sighed.

James held out a Tupperware container. "Kendall! I made you some of my step-mom's famous potato salad. Can't have a picnic without potato salad!"

"Thanks, James," Kendall said, sure he was making a weird face. "But this is kind of a private picnic. Me and my --"

"Friend!" James interrupted. "Your friend, Jo. Who is also my friend. What's up, Jo?"

Jo waved, giving Kendall a look that said clearly SOS. She said, "Hey.... James. Nothing much is up, I'm just... kinda... on this mini-date here. With my --"

"Your very good friend, I know," James said. He threw one arm around Kendall and the other around Jo. "Are you glad we're all such good friends here?"

Jo caught Kendall's eye and he kind of shrugged. "His step-mom's potato salad is really good," he said apologetically.

Jo rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, just give me a fork. By the way, in case you were wondering, this is really not a perfect anniversary date."

James opened the Tupperware and added, "You know, Logan says that you can't call it an anniversary unless it's actually for a year. Something about a prefix."

"Is that so," Jo muttered, though it clearly wasn't a question. She took a forkful of potatoes, glanced at Kendall, who shrugged helplessly, and then at James. Then she launched the potatoes at him, stood up, and stomped away.

James wiped some potato off his face and asked cheerily, "Girls are so temperamental, don't you think?"

Kendall just groaned.

\--

Jo watched Kendall and the others leave for Rocque Records and scowled a little. She could see him trying to duck out of James' grip, but James was obviously determined to keep an arm around him or a hand on his back or whatever. Constant touch. It was weird.

Not just weird. New. Old weird things were quirks; new weird things meant something going on. And there was one person who _always_ knew what was going on.

Katie was sitting in the lobby, updating some kind of spreadsheet. Her cash box was in front of her, which meant that yup, Jo had hit the jackpot. She sat down across from Katie and said, "So. Spill."

Katie shut her laptop and said, "It's nothing, really. I wouldn't worry if I were you. James'll stop sometime this evening."

Well, that was good to know. But Jo wasn't that easy to shake. "Stop... being gay for my boyfriend?"

Katie nodded. "I've got the situation under control."

"What situation are we talking about, exactly?"

"Well..." Katie sighed. "You didn't hear it from me. I shouldn't be telling you anything, in case you influence the outcome. But... James and Logan have a bet, and James has until 4:30 today to make out with Kendall if he wants to win."

Ah. That made sense.

For a definition of "made sense" that meant "was completely insane."

"What?"

Katie spread her hands helplessly. "I didn't make it up, I just provide the odds. Don't worry, they're very much in favor of Kendall being totally loyal to you. In fact, if today's studio session goes like yesterday's, they'll be so skewed towards Kendall, I won't be able to cover the line against him for any last-minute bettors."

"Wait, wait." Jo thought it through for a second, then smiled slowly. "What you're saying is that if someone put down some money on James... and James won... someone would stand to make some _serious_ cash?"

"Yeah. If James won," Katie said. "But Kendall's not gay. Which you know better than anyone. So the odds are way against him."

Jo grinned as she stood up. "Never tell me the odds."

\--

"Hey, Kendall?"

Kendall jumped a little -- he was starting feel a little paranoid -- but it was just Carlos. In fact, looking around the Rocque Records lobby, he didn't see James anywhere. Thankfully. "What's up?"

Carlos steered him down the hall. "I'm trying to get a... CD. From a shelf in Gustavo's storage closet," he said. Something was off with his tone. Kendall frowned. Something was going on. But before he could figure out what, Carlos continued, "Can't reach it. Just too short, you know? Can you get it for me?"

"Sure, I guess," Kendall said.

Carlos swung the closet door open. Kendall had just enough time to glimpse James inside before the door slammed shut. Kendall turned around immediately and tried to get it back open, but it was locked. He banged, he yelled for Carlos, who had to be right outside, but no one answered. In fact, he was pretty sure he heard the sound of something heavy being lugged across the floor towards the closet. Probably to further bar the door.

Kendall turned back towards James, who was wearing a bright orange and yellow construction worker's outfit. Except it obviously wasn't real. In fact, Kendall was willing to bet it was tear-off.

Great. His best friend was dressed in a costume from Strippers R Us and they were locked in a two-foot square space together.

"Hey, Kendall," James said. In his husky voice.

"No," Kendall said, backing up the two inches until he hit the wall. He held a hand up, trying to hold James off, but it wasn't like there was room for James to go anywhere. James waggled his eyebrows -- again -- and started to speak.

Except Kendall's sense went into high gear and he saw a tiny speck of light glinting off something up near the ceiling and ah ha, thank god. "An air vent! Give me a boost -- wait, no, I take it back, don't touch me, okay? Okay! Bye!" He grabbed for the shelf and hauled himself up, climbing the shelving like a ladder. The vent gave when he pushed on it, and a moment later he was safely in the air ducts.

What the heck had happened to his life that "inside the air ducts" was something he considered safe?

James called up after him, "Hey, nice butt!"

Kendall crawled forward into the dusty duct. Yeah, the duct was safe. The closet with James, not so much.

\--

Jo sat in the lobby and kept her eyes on the door. Logan and Carlos had both come in twenty minutes ago -- when she'd pressed Logan, he admitted that Kendall had snuck off to try to avoid James, and James had, of course, followed him. She'd texted Kendall but if he was busy trying to shake James, he might not check his phone and she didn't want to miss him.

Then...

Barking? And screaming?

Kendall ran into the lobby. He looked dazed, his clothing was torn and dirty, and he had a series of cuts down his arm and bruises on his face. She waved him over and he fell into a chair.

"What happened?" she gasped.

"Dogs." He shuddered. "Wild dogs! I don't know how -- I don't know who let them into the park, but they -- I -- if James hadn't come along with that steak to distract them..."

She grabbed his arm and examined one of the cuts. "Did one of them get you? Do you need to get checked for rabies?"

"No... no, that was the bush. I was hiding from James when the dogs..." He blinked a few times, shook his head, and took a deep breath. "I think something's going on with James."

"Uh-duh," she said. "And because I am the greatest girlfriend ever, I found out what."

"You did?"

She glanced at the clock. It was just 3:30, which meant James had an hour until the bet's deadline. Plenty of time. She smiled at Kendall and said, "Let's go get you cleaned up and I'll tell you all about it. In the mean time, tell me one thing."

"What?" he asked, letting her help him to his feet. He still seemed a little dazed.

"Kendall Knight, how would you feel about making some easy money?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"It's not my fault I'm this attractive," James sulked. "I can't help that everyone wants to make out with me."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enormous thanks to [](http://elucreh.livejournal.com/profile)[**elucreh**](http://elucreh.livejournal.com/) for the inspiration, [](http://poisonivory.livejournal.com/profile)[**poisonivory**](http://poisonivory.livejournal.com/) for the hijinks, and especially [](http://lielabell.livejournal.com/profile)[**lielabell**](http://lielabell.livejournal.com/) for hand-holding and beta reading. ♥

**Friday Afternoon.**

Now that he was looking for it, Kendall was aware that it wasn't just James -- _everyone_ at the Palm Woods was staring at him, though mostly they were trying to be subtle about it. It was kind of disconcerting.

He sat down across from Jo in the lobby. They were planning their date, but mostly Kendall's eyes were glued to the clock. Minutes ticked by -- it passed 4:00, and then 4:10. 4:15, 4:20, 4:23 --

"Hey, is there a Kendall Knight here?"

Kendall looked up. A delivery man had come in, wheeling an enormous, pink box with an oversized gold bow near the top. Kendall waved. "That's me. Is that... what is that?"

"A delivery for you. Sign here." He held out a clipboard, and Kendall dutifully signed (accidentally providing the sort of messy autograph fans got, rather than a legible signature, but habit was habit). The delivery man said, "Happy birthday!" and started off.

"Well, it's not my birthday..." Kendall mused, staring at the box. It came up to his shoulder -- large enough to hold a smallish person. Or a large-ish person hunched over, for that matter. He glanced at Jo and raised his eyebrows. She gestured at the box. So Kendall mumbled, "Oh, I can not wait to see what this is," and pulled off the bow.

Apparently that was the lynchpin for the whole box, as all four walls immediately fell outwards and Kendall had to duck back a few steps to avoid getting bopped by one.

The box contained a birthday cake. An _enormous_ birthday cake, with multiple tiers, carefully frosted in green, red, and gold -- the Wild's colors. That was a nice touch, really.

"So..." He looked around. Everyone in the lobby had given up and was now just staring at him. Bitters was eating popcorn with Carlos and Katie; Buddha Bob was holding his hedge clippers in the doorway; Logan lurked next to the back stairs. "Anyone want cake?"

The cake exploded. Well, sort of. James burst out through the top, and shoved his way forward, smashing most of the cake out of recognition as he went. If Kendall had suspected James was shopping from a male stripper's wardrobe before, now he was sure: James had black pants on (although they were smudged with frosting), a set of detached wrist cuffs, and a collar with a bowtie. No shirt.

A slow version of "Happy Birthday" began playing. Kendall just stood there, staring, as James... danced. Shimmied. On him. Like, _on_ him.

Kendall swallowed. This was... awkward. But at least if the boyband thing fell through, James had a backup career as a stripper ready to go.

James' dance number finally came to a halt, and if the clock in the lobby was right, it was 4:28. Kendall glanced around, and everyone was staring at them. Which was fair enough. Bets or no bets, James jumping out of a cake would have attracted attention.

Kendall swallowed and said, "Um. You've known me since... I don't know, the womb? You know my birthday is in March."

"I still owed you a present from last year," James answered, not moving from his final pose. Which happened to be with one leg hitched up over Kendall's hip. "So what do you think?"

"Creative," Kendall said. His voice cracked. "But... you did put in a lot of effort, so." He swallowed and tried not to look into James' eyes. "So. I guess. You know, why the hell not?"

He kissed James.

James made a soft noise of surprise, which was hilarious, considering the last forty-eight hours. Somehow, that actually made the whole thing kind of _fun._ Kendall brought a hand down to support James' leg, and he buried his other hand in James' hair. James shifted the angle of his head just a little, and whoa, the tongue wasn't really in Kendall's plan, but okay.

Weirdly, Kendall actually could have kept it up, but across the lobby, Camille shrieked, "Yes! I am rich!" and started clapping. Around the lobby, most people began mumbling in annoyance, with only a few others celebrating. Kendall was careful not to look at Jo. It would have been too blatant for her to place a bet directly, but...

Yeah, the most romantic anniversary date of all time was now paid for in full. Jo had found someone to fence for them, and though Katie was too smart not to know she apparently didn't care, and James wasn't actually the worst kisser in the world or anything, so everything was fine. Though...

"You can unwrap your leg any time now, Diamond."

James yelped and jumped back from Kendall. "Yeah. Um. Happy birthday?"

"And you can cut the act," Kendall added. _"And_ you owe me forever. And I _will_ have my revenge, James."

James laughed and started to say something, but then he went silent. And stiff. And his whole face dropped.

Kendall swiveled to see Logan staring at the two of them with a look of... Kendall had no idea. He'd never seen Logan with that expression before. But it wasn't annoyance or anger or anything else he'd have expected from someone who lost a bet. It definitely wasn't the expression of someone who was amused, and if nothing else, Kendall knew what had just happened had been entertaining.

He was about to say something, but Bitters yelled, "That cake isn't going to clean itself, you know!" and whatever it was passed. Logan's expression faded to mild chagrin, James laughed awkwardly, and they looked away from each other.

"I suppose you're going to make me clean this up, huh?" James said.

Kendall snorted. "You think?"

\--

"So... did you want to talk about it?" Kendall asked, as he held a tie up over his shirt. "And does this work with my jacket?" He turned away from the mirror to face Logan, who was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He turned his head to look at Kendall in response to the second question.

"I'm not talking to you. And no."

Kendall set the tie down. It was his favorite -- it had the Wild's logo on it, which was really cool, but yeah, hard to match to any of his nicer clothes. He picked up a boring, solid blue tie and slid it around his neck.

He ignored Logan's comment about not talking to him, since Logan didn't really have that kind of willpower, and said, "So what, you're mad at me because I kissed James?"

"No. I don't care who either of you kisses," Logan muttered.

"Oh, good. Because if anything, I should be mad at you, since you're the one responsible for the two weirdest days of my life, ya _jerk."_

Logan rolled his eyes and punched at the pillow under his head, fluffing it up. "Well, I lost, so I don't see what you're complaining about. Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it."

So Logan _did_ care about the kissing. That was... interesting. Kendall pulled his the end of the tie through the loop, leaving a decent knot, checked the length of the two ends, and he said carefully, "Well... James is a pretty good kisser. Practice makes perfect, I guess. Can't complain about that part. The rest of it, though? That was not fun."

"Sounds like it was worth it," Logan snitted.

"It was. Not for the kiss itself, though." Kendall wrinkled his nose a little. Like he'd said, the kiss was fine, but... it was _James._ Kendall wasn't interested in boys, and if he was interested in a boy, it wouldn't be James. He had no idea who it would be, but had no real interest in carrying that thought through to the end.

"Then... what?"

"Well, the way I see it, I took a fall, and everyone won," Kendall said. "Jo and I made a ton of money, so we can get our perfect anniversary date --"

"It's _not_ an _anniversary_ \--"

" -- and Carlos gets his homework done, James gets a wingman, everyone else got some entertainment. Everyone wins." Kendall shrugged. "I guess except you. But you're not usually a sore loser, so..."

"Whatever. I don't even care. It's just..."

"Yeah?" Kendall prompted.

Logan shook his head. "Nothing. Forget it. Thanks for screwing me, now leave me alone and go on your date. Maybe if it's perfect enough, Jo will let you screw her."

"Oh, like you didn't get anything out of this."

"What could I possibly have gotten out of this? More work to do, because I had so much time to do it all before? Or did you mean more work _and_ being forced to schlep James around and watch while he makes out with his flavor of the night?"

Kendall lifted his eyebrows. "I meant more like certain knowledge that James is perfectly happy to kiss boys?"

"Why would I care about that?"

Kendall stared at Logan for a long moment, then reached for his jacket and said, "No reason. Never mind. I have to go, I have an anniversary dinner."

"It's not your anniversary!" Logan yelled at him, exploding a little. "Nine months isn't an anni-anything. It's _nothing._ It's not a big deal, so what the hell was so important that you decided it was worth making out with _James Diamond_ for, Kendall?"

Kendall slid his jacket on, then decided he might as well fess up: "Because I love her. And I've never said it, and I'm going to, and she'll probably just say 'duh,' but... I wanted to do it somewhere nicer than Fun Burger. There's no holiday, no birthday, no nothing right now, so yeah. Nine month not-iversary it is."

Logan stared at him. Then said, "Oh."

Kendall shrugged. "See you later." He strolled out, smoothing his shirt and jacket as he went, but paused to look back at the doorway. Logan was a smart guy. Smart enough that he would figure things out, right?

But maybe a little nudge wouldn't hurt, either.

James was lying sprawled on his back on the couch, a plate of pie balanced carefully on his chest, kicking Carlos with one foot. Kendall called his name, and James looked up at him.

"How do I look?" Kendall asked, giving James his best smile. "Hot enough to make out with?"

"Very funny." He took a bite, then said, mouth full, "You look good, though."

Carlos chimed in, "Go get 'er, champ."

"Going to. Just..." He looked back at James. "We need to talk later, _Jamez."_

"Is it 'cause you're in love with me?" James asked him eagerly. "One kiss was all it took, and now --"

"Carlos?" Kendall prompted.

"On it," Carlos said, set aside his own pie, and tackled James off the couch. James yelled something indignant about his dessert, and Kendall laughed, leaving them behind in a pile of flailing limbs.

\--

James lay on the couch, staring at whatever mindless thing was on TV. Carlos had gone to bed, which left him alone -- Kendall was still out, and Logan had never even come out of his room. Not once since the kiss that afternoon. Which was actually kind of impressive, because Logan must have needed to pee at some point, and he wasn't the kind of guy who'd just go in a mug and shrug it off.

Every time James thought he heard someone stir from the hallway, his heart leapt and his stomach dropped. Logan would have to come out eventually.

Come out. As if _that_ was the sort of coming out James cared about.

He stretched and flipped the channel to some random cable access show. It looked like a polar bear puppet and a raccoon puppet were dancing together. Weird.

The front door opened and Kendall came swaggering in. He was holding his jacket, his tie was crooked and so loose it was almost undone, his hair was mussed up, and even in the dim light, James could make out a red blotch just above his collar.

"Got lucky?" James guessed.

Kendall grinned. "None of your business. But you are definitely not the person I've gone farthest with today."

James laughed. "Good for you, buddy."

Kendall tossed his jacket over the hockey dome and collapsed down on the couch. "It was great. We had dinner -- and they had this live piano player, who played our song for us -- I sang it -- and we danced, then, and yeah. _And_ I told her I love her."

"Aww, you do?" James grinned, genuinely happy for Kendall. "What did she say?"

"She said duh. Apparently I'm pretty obvious." Kendall beamed a little bit. "And that she loves me, too. It was all really romantic and classy, for a change."

James poked Kendall's hickey. "Super classy."

Kendall slapped his hand away. "I'm not sure you're allowed to touch me."

"Afraid you won't be able to resist me?" James waggled his eyebrows and Kendall laughed.

"I'm traumatized, is more like it," Kendall answered, giving him a friendly shove. "But about that?"

"Sorry, Kendall, I know you're disappointed, but I'm not actually into you." James smirked at him and kicked his foot. "But if you're feeling curious and Jo's okay with it, I'm pretty sure Jett Stetson wants to pin you up against a wall and do you."

"Ewww," Kendall said, actually wrinkling his nose with distaste. He kicked James back and added, "Tell me that was a joke."

"Of course it was a joke. I'm pretty sure he wants to be the one getting pinned."

Kendall kicked him harder. "Thanks for that. Now my night is ruined. And that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Well?"

"You, uh... So you kiss guys, huh? I mean, I wouldn't have taken that bet. Being straight and all."

"Are we seriously having this conversation?" James blinked at him, but it didn't look like he was joking. "I know you're straight, if that's what you're --"

"No, I know. I just wanted to ask you if _you're,_ you know... straight. Or not. Or whatever."

James had never really bothered to consider that. He glanced back towards the hallway, but there was still no sign of Logan. He supposed, considering how much he'd wanted Logan, and for how long... "Not. I guess. I mean, I like girls and all, but not..."

"Not exclusively," Kendall finished for him.

"Yeah, that."

"Huh." Kendall leaned back on the couch and rubbed his palm over his hickey. Finally, he said, "So you know I took a fall on the bet --"

"Making out with me is not taking a fall!" James objected.

Kendall rolled his eyes. _"Ahem._ I was saying, I took the fall and everything, but I've seen you in action, and even if it didn't work on _me_ \--"

"Except it basically did --"

"I just wanted to say, you know, I think you really can do it. Seduce basically anyone."

James grinned. "Naturally. _Thank_ you. Tell Logan that, please."

"Because it's important to you that he knows? You made a bet on it and everything."

James had the unpleasant feeling Kendall was outmaneuvering him somehow, but he wasn't sure how. So he admitted, "Yeah..."

"Because you _like_ him. And you want to make out with him -- no. Well, yes," Kendall was obviously on a roll now, "but you want _him_ to _want_ to make out with you. Wow, did you pick a stupid way to go about that."

"What would you have done?" James demanded, then realized belatedly that he'd just admitted to Kendall that yes, he was into Logan. But whatever; he'd jumped out of a cake for Kendall, so it wasn't even the weirdest thing to happen between them that day.

"Probably gone the more direct route," Kendall said, standing up. "I mean, come on. You can seduce anyone, so what the heck are you waiting for?"

 **Saturday.**

If weekday mornings were crazy, weekends were often the opposite. James liked beauty sleep, something he rarely got during the week, so on Saturday he finally rolled out of bed around 12:30 and took a long, leisurely shower. As his brain finally started working, he mulled over plans.

Step one: make sure Logan was still talking to him. He honestly wasn't sure. But at least Logan was out of his room now. While James fixed himself a breakfast of toaster waffles and finished up a carton of OJ without bothering with a cup, he stole a few glances over at the couch.

Logan was perched near the corner, with piles and piles of paper and stacks of books stretched out on either direction. He was scribbling furiously in a three-ring binder. Katie and Carlos were both sitting on the floor in front of the couch, watching something with a car chase, with spilled cereal, empty boxes, and abandoned bowls of funky-colored milk near them. James smiled a little. Katie was only eleven, and Carlos totally used her as an excuse to relieve his childhood of Saturday morning cartoons. And action movies, apparently. Or maybe that was Fox News. They had the volume turned down pretty low, so James couldn't quite tell.

Once he'd stacked his plate up with waffles and drowned them in syrup, he wandered towards them. He reached for the nearest pile of stuff, and --

"Don't." Logan didn't even look up.

"I just want to sit," James protested.

"Floor," Logan said, voice flat. "I've got everything all sorted out and prioritized and then alphabetized within those categories, and if you wreck it I will injure you."

James speared a waffle on his fork and said, "What _is_ all this?"

"Carlos' back assignments. If you're going to sit, be quiet."

Oh. James shrugged, sat on Katie's other side, crossed his legs, balanced his plate on his knee, and ate, trying not to drip syrup on his jeans. He wasn't sure what to say, and finally settled on, "Pretty sure Kendall got laid last night."

"Did you see his neck? It's, like, purple," Carlos said, voice reverent.

Katie stood and turned around to scowl at them. "Ew," she said, pointing at James, then at Carlos, "and _ew._ I never want to hear about it."

"You're too young to even know what that means!" Carlos protested.

"Katie's been on at least one more date than you have," Logan snarked at him.

"Mean!"

"Trying to focus, here," Logan snapped. "So if you're going to chat, go away."

Carlos started to answer, but apparently decided not to. He just shrugged and walked off. Katie shook her head, watching him go, and said, "For what it's worth, I really thought you had that bet in the bag, Logan. I really don't get the whole teenage dating thing," before heading off herself.

James set aside his plate, doing it just noisily enough that Logan looked up to glare at him. With Logan watching him, James very deliberately licked a drop of syrup off his thumb. He opened his mouth to make a suggestive comment, but Logan kicked him in the side.

"Don't bother. I'm too busy. Go away."

James rubbed his side and said, "Don't blame _me_ for being irresistible."

Logan snorted but didn't say anything to that.

"Are you mad at me?" James hazarded. "For winning?"

"No," Logan snapped.

"Because I'd be pissed if you won."

"I'm not pissed. It was a stupid bet. Whatever. I don't care. I'm just busy, in case you missed the _piles and piles of crap_ sitting around here."

James tapped his fingers against his knee, then said, "But we have a date tonight."

Logan dropped his pen, scrambled to grab it, and turned to stare at him. "Come again?"

"Well, okay, not a _date_ -date," James improvised, "but you're my wingman, and I'm going to get lucky, and you have to come help me. Just like you have to do all of," he waved an arm at the couch, "that."

"How am I supposed to have time for that?" Logan demanded. "I have all this, _and_ my own work, _and_ studying for the ACTs! And you don't need help. You pretty much proved that, didn't you?"

That was true enough, but James protested, "We had a bet. I won fair and square!"

"No. You didn't. Kendall threw the bet so he could make some fast money, which makes him -- hey, what's that word for someone who exchanges sexual services for money? _Oh yeah, a prostitute!"_

His voice rose significantly on the last few words, and he hollered them in the direction of the bedroom he and Kendall shared. Okay, so maybe Logan _was_ pissed, but not at James. That was something.

"I still won," James said.

"On a technicality. So yeah, James, I'll do... whatever. But not right now. Just... just leave me alone."

James frowned, but picked up his plate, and Katie's and Carlos' discarded bowls, and walked over to drop them in the sink. Then he hesitated by the couch and sighed. He knew Logan wouldn't ignore his end of the bet; Logan was too honest for that. But he obviously wasn't looking forward to upholding it, either.

"Okay, so it was a technicality," James admitted. "So I'll make you a deal."

"No," Logan said.

"You haven't even heard --"

"Look around," Logan said, gesturing at the piles of work again. "I've learned my lesson, okay? No more deals, no dares, and no bets."

"But this isn't... just hear me out," James said. "You and me. We hit the town tonight, because I won. And you're my wingman and we'll have a good time and maybe you'll even end up getting it on, too. You never know."

"How is this a deal?"

 _"And,"_ James continued, "since it was just that -- that technicality that let me win, after tonight, you're off the hook."

Logan frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know our bet said you had to be my wingman forever, but..." He shrugged. "I'm not a jerk, you know."

"Well... okay, but I've still got to get through..." Logan sighed and brandished his pen.

"So I'll help," James offered.

"You? Help? With homework that's not even your own?" Logan looked up at him, then laughed.

"Sure," James said. "I mean, gosh, think about it. Wouldn't it be a total shame if Carlos got his homework done but it turned out his grades still weren't very good? Like this." He grabbed the nearest paper, a print out. "Multiple choice, easy. The answer is C for all of them."

"You're not even looking at the questions," Logan said, his eyes bugging out like he was having some kind of academic nightmare.

"True. But I'll probably get almost a quarter of them right, right? And my way is way faster than yours. We'll be done with this in no time."

This time, Logan's laugh wasn't sarcastic. "Well, if you insist..."

James shifted a pile -- carefully -- and sat. Logan handed him a pen, and as James got to work, he added, "I'll make all the plans for tonight, okay? Just dress hot and we'll have a great time. Promise."

Logan didn't answer. But he didn't object, either.

\--

Logan heaved a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. He was determined to be a good sport about this. Complaining about how he lost wasn't going to get him out of anything, so his best bet was just to grin and bear it, and hope that everyone forgot about it. So he'd just accepted Carlos' truckload of work, and he was willing to go out to dinner with James, either. Even though the absolute last thing he ever wanted was to go out with James and help James trick some pretty girl into making out with him. He'd have to drive James home after, and hear all the stupid details, and --

He pressed the heel of his hands against his eyes, trying to banish the imaginary girl from his brain, but all shutting his eyes did was bring back images of James and Kendall wrapped around each other, kissing in a way that was way too convincing to be fake.

Not that he cared. Not that it was any of his freaking business who James made out with.

Deciding he looked pretty good, he headed out to the living room to face James, who let out a wolf whistle. "Looking hot, Logie!"

Logan rolled his eyes. James had dressed up, too, and Logan knew full well that standing next to James Diamond, no one would notice him. Which was fine. His goal wasn't to meet anyone, his goal was to get James whatever it was he wanted, and get home as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Kendall, who was sitting on the couch, laughed. "Have a nice date, you two."

Logan narrowed his eyes at Kendall, then fake coughed the word "whore" into his hand. Kendall's smile got a little more forced, but he didn't say anything.

James threw an arm around Logan and said, "Let's roll!"

Logan just nodded and let James steer him out, only pausing to grab the car keys.

\--

James watched Logan take in the sight of the restaurant. It was huge and fancy and James had needed to beg his mom for an advance on his next month's worth of allowances to pay for it, but he wasn't going to scrimp on this. He had one shot to impress Logan, and he was going to make it perfect.

"Whoa," Logan said, as the hostess showed them to a table. Which happened to be sandwiched between a gorgeous fountain on one side, someone playing violin on the other, and directly under a chandelier. "James, you can't afford any girls you might meet here."

James waved that notion off. "You let me worry about that. I'll tell you when it's time for you to do something, okay? In the mean time, kick back, relax, and order a steak or something."

Logan looked at the menu. "The steak costs the same as my dad's monthly mortgage payment. I can't aff-- "

Another wave. "Dinner's on me, okay?"

"What?"

"I'm the one who dragged you out, so it's on me."

Logan stared at him for a long minute, then finally said, "Fine."

They ordered after a few minutes, and after the waitress walked away, Logan said, "What about her? She's hot."

James glanced after her. She _was_ hot, probably a college student with a weekend job, or an aspiring actress hoping to be discovered. Young and blond with a tight body and legs for miles. Under other circumstances, James absolutely would have hit on her. But these weren't other circumstances, so he shook his head and said, "Nope, not my type."

"Your type?" Logan repeated. "Your type is breathing. No offense, but you're kind of a slut."

That stung a little, but James knew it was basically true. He just didn't want Logan to think of him like that.

He shrugged. "I know, but when it comes down to it... I like brunets."

"Okay," Logan said, and craned his neck, looking around. "There's a hot brunet at the bar, but she's kind of old for you. Unless you're into that."

The woman at the bar did kind of have a sexy cougar thing going on, but James shook his head. "Just relax. I'll let you know."

"Okay, okay." Logan leaned back in his chair, one hand idly playing with his napkin. "I just don't see how a restaurant like this is going to help. People come here _on_ dates, not because they're _looking_ for dates."

"I have a plan," James said. Which was true. He just didn't mention to Logan that picking up a date was not part of it.

"If you say so. I mean, just, jeez." Logan looked over at the violinist. "It looks like we're on a date."

James almost choked on his drink. "Wh-what?"

Logan nodded. "That's what I would think, if I were some girl walking by. I wouldn't stop to hit on you, is all. You should have gotten Kendall's help with this plan, James. You're not very good at scheming all on your own."

"I thought you were mad at Kendall."

Logan rolled his eyes. "I'm not. It's fine. He's a whore, but whatever."

"So I'm a slut, he's a whore... you got any opinions on Carlos you want to share?"

"He's messy?" Logan shrugged. "I'm just saying. Kendall will make out with people he claims he doesn't want for cash --"

"Claims?"

"-- and you'll make out with anyone, ever. But I'm neurotic and nerdy, so who am I to judge?"

"I don't think you're neurotic," James said.

Logan gave him a crooked smile. "Only because you don't know what that means."

James laughed. "I'm pretty enough that I don't need to be smart."

"Well, we don't all have that going for us."

"True," James said, and let his gaze linger on Logan for a moment. "You're not pretty, but you're... I don't know. More than cute, but not old enough to be handsome."

"Um, thanks, I guess," Logan said, his cheeks going slightly rosy.

James grinned. Logan was adorable when he blushed.

\--

So this was James' idea of a big night out. Logan was baffled, but every time he asked James how exactly the two of them eating a giant, fancy dinner was going to get James a date, James just laughed the question off. So it was weird.

But not _bad._ Logan was mostly used to hanging out with the guys as a group, but chilling with just James was... pretty nice, he decided cautiously. For all James spent most of his time checking his hair in the reflection of silverware, he was also funny and easy to get along with. And he had this way of dropping off-hand comments that made Logan feel... appreciated, he supposed. Logan knew James didn't really care about the history of chandeliers within interior design, but Logan had read about it somewhere and when he mentioned it, James didn't seem too bored by it, and then he made some comment about being impressed by how much random stuff Logan could remember.

It felt weird and warm and Logan had never noticed it before. He'd also never noticed the way James' whole face lit up when he laughed, or how easy it was to make James laugh, or how good it felt when he did it.

As, after James handed over enough cash to pay for a semester at college, they stood up. Logan shook his head a little. "I don't know. I don't get it."

"What's to get?" James asked, leaning against him and nudging him with his elbow. James led the way out, ushering Logan with a hand on the small of his back. Then he added, "You want to see a movie or something?"

"Do I... what is this, dinner and a movie?" Logan asked. He peered into the parking lot and found their car. "That's what I don't get. The whole point of having a wingman is having someone to help you get laid, or get a date, or whatever, and --"

"Did you have a good time?" James interrupted.

"Well, yeah," Logan said, flushing. He had. If this was all James wanted from him, Logan actually wouldn't have minded doing it more than once, but that wasn't the point.

"Because so did I," James said. "In fact, I had a great time."

"Well, great." Logan hit the button to open the car door. "But my point stands. You didn't even look at any of the girls in there. Or any of the boys, for that matter, since I guess that's a thing you do."

"It is," James said. "And you're wrong. I absolutely was checking out this one guy. He just didn't notice."

"What?" Logan asked, a little stunned. He'd spent the whole night waiting, bracing himself for it, but hadn't seen James look at anyone.

"And I did get a good date out of it," James continued.

"James, what are you talking ab--"

"Logan," James interrupted. His voice was soft, but his tone was firm, and Logan fell silent. "I think I've got something in my eye," James continued. "Can you do me a favor and check?"

Logan swallowed. "It's pretty dark out here, I wouldn't be able to --"

"Just. Just look. Please?"

So Logan stepped close to James and looked up into James' eyes.

And.

Oh.

The world spun away from him and he couldn't look away. James' eyes seemed infinitely deep, perfect, beautiful... And just like that, Logan knew that he hated listening to James talk about girls because he was jealous, stupidly, bitterly jealous; and he wasn't mad at Kendall over a stupid bet, he was mad at Kendall for getting what he wanted. And that was what it all came down to: want.

Raw, desperate desire.

Oh.

James ducked his head and kissed Logan. Logan felt arms around him, felt James pull him until they were body to body. Logan had been kissed before, and passionately at that, but it had been nothing like this. This was like James' eyes, like infinity, like everything he had no idea he craved...

But of course he craved it. Because everyone wanted James. That was the point, wasn't it?

Logan stumbled back and pushed James away. He felt for the door handle and opened it, ducked inside, and fumbled to get the key to the ignition and his seatbelt in place. He just sat there and stared out the windshield as James clamored over to the passenger side and slid in.

"Logan --" James started.

"Don't. You made your point. I get it."

"Get what?" James asked, his voice breaking.

"There's no one at the Palm Woods who wouldn't make out with you. I get it, okay? Did Kendall put you up to this?"

"No! No, Logan, I'm not --"

"I don't want to -- stop," Logan said. He swallowed hard and finally turned the key. "Just stop. Leave me a little dignity and leave me _alone."_

James didn't say anything on the whole ride home.

\--

Kendall banged on the door to his bedroom. It was locked, but there was no sound of movement from within. He banged again and again, but got nothing.

He moved down the hall and knocked on Carlos' and James' door. Carlos answered it, but he just shook his head. Kendall peered around him and saw James lying on the floor, looking like someone had stolen his swagger. "He's comatose," Carlos said. "Stumbled in. Lay down. Hasn't moved."

"So I take it the seduction isn't going well, Romeo?" Kendall asked. He sat down on the floor, and nudged James.

James turned his head to look, then said, "Leave me alone to die."

"James --"

"The direct route has ruined my life." James rolled on to his stomach and smooshed his face against the carpet. That was definitely a bad sign.

"You're gonna get rugburn on your face," Carlos mused.

James mumbled something incoherent.

"What happened?" Kendall asked.

Another mumble. Kendall nudged James with his foot, and James rolled on to his side and swatted at Kendall's foot. Then groaned and said, "I kissed him and he hated it."

"Seriously?" Carlos gasped.

"But you're a great kisser," Kendall said, then coughed awkwardly when James smirked at him and Carlos raised his eyebrows.

"Logan doesn't think so. Logan hates me."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you," Carlos tried.

"He does." James flopped back on to his stomach.

Kendall tipped his head back, considering. James just looked kind of pathetic -- but of course he did. The weird thing was how much sense it made to Kendall. James hadn't actually cared about seducing _him_ at all, so it had been no problem for him to just keep trying and trying. But if he really liked Logan, and Logan had turned him down...

This called for a pep talk. Kendall got to his feet and started pacing.

"James, do you remember when we were twelve, and you had pneumonia the week of our biggest hockey game? There was no way we could win without you, and the day before you were so sick you could barely stand up. But did you let that stop you?"

"No!" Carlos said enthusiastically. Then, "Or... or did you want him to say that?"

James mumbled incoherently.

"Carlos is right," Kendall continued. "You snuck out of your house and hid in my mom's trunk, and you had to be hospitalized as soon as the game ended, but you made it and we won."

"That was awesome," Carlos put in.

"Right!" Kendall continued. "And of the four of us, who was the first to make out with a girl -- and get to second base -- and, uh, beyond?"

James rolled over and admitted, "Okay, that was me. And it was pretty awesome."

"Right," Kendall continued. "You've always been fearless on the ice, and fearless when it comes to girls."

"But Logan's not a girl," Carlos said.

Kendall shot him a glare and plowed on: "So now you've got a challenge in front of you. Are you going to lie there and get rug burn all over your pretty face, or are you going to get up, dust off, and go break down the door and seduce your boy?"

There was a long pause, then James sat up. "Fine. Carlos, get your helmet. We have a door to break down."

"Awesome!" Carlos cheered, and reached for his helmet. Then added, "But you know Logan's not in there, right?"

"Huh?" Kendall and James asked in unison.

"Yeah. He snuck out the window awhile ago." Carlos shrugged. "He always does that when he's upset."

James collapsed back on to the floor and Kendall hazarded, "Well... at least you've got time to scheme. And between the three of us, we can probably come up with a pretty good scheme."

\--

Logan sat out in Palm Woods park by himself for a long time. It was a little eerie late at night, and when he looked up at the sky he couldn't make out a single star, which was depressing. Back home in Minnesota, he and the guys would sleep outside all the time during the summer, and years ago, he'd memorized dozens of constellations. But Hollywood wasn't Minnesota, and nothing was quite so simple here.

So he liked James. He liked boys. That actually wasn't too hard to come to terms with. It wasn't like Logan had ever thought of it before, but he'd had enough passing thoughts that all it really did was crystallize what had been in the back of his mind. It wasn't the sexuality component that bothered him. It was just that it was _James._

Logan was too smart to think James was serious. The kiss had been... well, great. But of course it had. Practice made perfect, and practicing kissing was basically James' favorite thing in the world. He'd do it with anyone, and do way more than kiss if they'd let him get away with it, and it never meant anything. It was just his fun, Saturday night activity.

With Logan, it probably hadn't even been that. James liked to rub it in when he won -- they all did, an unfortunate side-effect of being hyper-competitive all the time -- so Logan should have known something was coming when James practically let him off the hook for their bet. Sure, Logan would only have to go out with James once, but James was going to make his point once and for all: absolutely everyone wanted him, and that included Logan. He'd given Logan no choice but to admit it.

Eventually, it got late enough that Logan's head began to nod and he figured everyone else was asleep. He really couldn't deal with anyone yet. Sure enough, when he got to the foot of the building, there were no lights on in any of 2J's windows. Which was good, but on the other hand, the darkness made it a little difficult to scramble up, over his the windowsill, and in.

Logan hauled himself over the edge, then froze as a light flared to life. He spun towards Kendall's bed, ready to apologize for locking Kendall out when he wasn't even in the room (sneaking out just avoided awkward where-are-you-going, when-will-you-be-back, what's-the-matter questions), but Kendall's bed was empty.

Slowly, he turned to face his own bed.

James was lying in it.

And James was wearing a labcoat with a pair of thick-rimmed, lens-less glasses, and licking a sliderule.

Logan blinked, his brain not really processing anything but that last part. Where the heck did James even _get_ a sliderule?

"Where did you even get a sliderule?" he blathered, then winced, screwing his eyes shut and waiting for laughter.

None came.

Logan opened his eyes, and found James had shifted, and the labcoat had fallen open, revealing that James wasn't wearing a shirt beneath it. Logan actually let out a tiny, involuntary gasp. James' washboard abs just weren't _fair._ His voice cracked when he said, "This isn't funny."

"I'm not joking." James waggled his eyebrows and made an incredibly dirty motion with his tongue against the sliderule.

Logan turned away and stared resolutely at Kendall's stupid hockey posters. "You made your point! You win! Now _go away!"_

"Why? What's wrong with me?" James demanded. "Am I not pretty enough for you? Am I not a good enough kisser?"

"Just stop. I don't want..." Logan trailed off, and slowly turned back around. He swallowed, staring at James, taking in the sight. God, James was gorgeous. Logan remembered how he'd kissed, remembered how that evening had felt... but... James was just making a stupid point, and he'd make out with anyone. Even Kendall, who had probably made James do this as revenge.

"What don't you want?" James asked softly. "Because I was pretty sure this," he gestured at the labcoat, "would do it for you, but if you want something else, I'll do it. The store I was at earlier had a fireman costume --"

"Stop!" Logan yelped. "You made your point already!"

"I'm not making a point!" James yelled back.

Logan stared at him. "Then... what are you doing?"

"If you have to ask, I'm obviously not doing a very good job." James waggled his eyebrows and shifted so the labcoat fell further open. "I mean, come on. We went out, we had a good time, and here I am."

Logan froze, his brain working through that as another possibility. If this wasn't about the bet and James proving himself, then... Then James thought of him as just another Saturday night girl. Boy. Whatever. What was sad was how much that hurt, too. It was a little better than what Logan had thought, but not much. Because he didn't want to be just another one of James' conquests, he wanted... more. Maybe it was Kendall's stupid romantic anniversary -- _non_ -anniversary -- rubbing off on him or something, but Logan didn't just want some fling with James. Which was stupid. James only did flings.

"I'm not..." Logan heaved a breath and made himself look away from James' six-pack, which was no easy feat. "I don't just... I can't just... No."

"Why not? It was a good kiss, wasn't it?"

Logan almost laughed. Of course James thought it was all about kissing. "That's why. It was great, but I don't just kiss people, okay? I only do that with people I really like, so unless you're suddenly looking for a relationship and not just someone to screw around with..."

"But that is what I want," James said.

"Yeah, right."

"Logan!" James squawked. "Look at me! Have you ever seen me work this hard for anyone?"

"Yeah. Kendall. _Yesterday."_

"That was a bet! I had to do that, to prove to you that I'm awesome, so you'd want me like I want you!"

"You..." Logan stared at him. "What?"

James shrugged. "I've been trying to show you how great I am for months now, and you kept not noticing, so when you told me to seduce Kendall, I had to. I didn't want to! But I had to."

Logan massaged his temples and reminded himself that James was not actually that bright. So okay, from James' point of view... bragging about his conquests wasn't just meant to show off, it was meant to impress Logan? Because, oh. Right. If Logan knew what a great kisser he was, or whatever, the Logan would want to...

The pieces fell into place and Logan laughed. James made a little offended noise, but Logan waved that off. "So you just wanted me to notice, and I just wanted you to shut up. Because I was jealous of all of those girls," Logan explained.

"You could have told me!" James squeaked.

"You could have told _me,"_ Logan shot back.

"I -- but -- uh -- you -- wait," James said, and held up his hands. "Wait. So you're saying you like me. And I like you. And it was a good kiss, right?"

"Great," Logan admitted.

"So... why are you still standing over there, instead of being here, on the bed, with me, making out?"

Logan blinked. "For a guy who's not bright, sometimes you're very smart." He laughed and stumbled towards the bed, let James grab his arm and pull him down. Then he was suddenly grateful that James was more experienced than he was, because James tugged him down and shifted and the next thing Logan knew, he was sprawled on top of James, one hand pressed against James' very, _very_ solid chest. He traced his way down, ran a finger across the sharp lines of James' washboard abs, his mind going blank as he marveled at the feeling. James grinned, then shifted yet again, rolling them over so he was on top, and he ducked his head and kissed Logan.

Logan's brain shorted out. James was -- the kiss was -- their limbs were all entwined, tangled, god -- James smelled good and felt good and he wanted him, _Logan,_ and not just some fling. It was too much, and too great, and Logan moaned and couldn't stop himself from thrusting, rubbing against James' body. Not that James seemed to mind. He made a noise somewhere low in his throat and did something with his hips that sent a jolt of electricity all the way up Logan's spine.

"See?" James panted in his ear. "This is good, right?"

Logan was smart, which was why he answered, "If I say no, are you going to keep this up just to impress me?"

"Probably. But if you say yes, we get to do this all the time anyway."

"Then..." Logan tipped his chin up to kiss James, because James was _right there,wouldn't?_ Anyone would, but the fact that James wanted him left Logan giddy. He chuckled against James' ear and said, "Yeah, yeah. This is very good. Practically perfect. I just..." He moaned as James did that thing with his hips again, then looked at him teasingly.

"Just?" James prompted, his hand stroking slowly down Logan's arm. He murmured, "Damn, Logan, nice guns," and tipped his head to kiss Logan again.

"Just one question," Logan panted, turning his head slightly so he could talk.

"Then you'll stop interrupting me so we can make out?" James asked.

"Yeah," Logan agreed, and tried to mimic James' earlier move, rolling them back over. He didn't quite make it, but they ended up on their sides, with James' back right against the wall, legs still all tangled together. Logan kissed James again, and James made that delicious noise, and Logan almost forgot, but --

"So what's your question?" James asked, mumbling right against Logan's jaw.

Logan laughed, running his hand up James' shoulder, tugging the labcoat off a little. It was ridiculous. James' whole outfit was, but he'd had done it just to turn Logan on, and it would be a lie if Logan claimed it hadn't worked --

"Well?" James added, shrugging the white coat off entirely.

Logan grinned. "I just have to know one thing."

 _"What?"_

"Where... where _did_ you get the sliderule?"

 **End.**


End file.
